Bleh...

Hard working and diligent?
Good. Well so is the donkey who carries heavy load for his master everyday. Do you think the master is compassionate towards it? Nope. He needs money and when he gets it he will probably trade that same hard working donkey for a stallion to show off.
That's how life works my dear friends. So its your choice if you want to be the donkey or the wolf.
I hate the wolves but those rascals know how to survive. They thrive on their swiftness and agility. Have you ever seen a wolf getting tamed for domestic purpose; that's coz it knows to hunt and fetch for itself.

Sometimes I doubt my abilities and get struck by pangs of fear & guilt thinking do I even deserve this. Have I been faking it all along and no one has found out the truth yet.  What are the chances I will make it through. There are people who are both way more sincere and smarter than me. Am I worth to be here. And that is when the implosion occurs. Panic stricken and tense is all I do and stop trying. 

I lose my faith in talent when I witness undeserving people stepping over the good ones. But they don't seem to have an issue with it, so why am I bothered about it. I am in a dilemma actually which side to join. We tend to do what we naturally like to do-either work hard like the donkeys without thinking why or know when to pound on the right moment like the wolves.  

Anyhow, these worldly gibberish never did any good to mankind. Be what you want to be. The best donkey or the best wolf.

I always knew what I wanted to be. The Stallion!

Idler

I am the kind who can spend hours staring at the ceiling(and then later write a blog about it! ).
Window seats appeal to me because the sights change and I do not have to strike conversations just to break awkward silences.
When Katy Perry sings "Do you ever feel like a plastic bag drifting through the wind..", I can relate myself to it. Rainy days and cozy blankets are the best combinations after pedicures with manicures.

Pouting is way more easier than a french kiss.

Let your hair down coz everything else is an effort.

I'll any day prefer walking on the beach with my dog beside me coz he loves unconditionally without judging.

What I do best is being me. Unpolished but staggering to keep up

Twenty's

Remember the times when the biggest concern used to be if your bicycle tyre had air in it so that you can reach the playground in time next morning and don't miss a single moment at the game. Ruffled hair and rubbing a milk moustache coz mom won't let you leave the house till you finish that cup of hot bournvita. Afternoon lunch served with your favorite sabji just the way you like it while watching swat cats on TV and never even bothered to appreciate her efforts.
When we used to pack our bags from a time table written on a diary.Days when we packed monday instead of tuesday and were made to stand outside the class coz we forgot to bring science homework.Love meant L in FLAMES. White shoes could be cleaned using chalksticks.That my dear friends was the bliss in your life.

Then what hits you hard on the face are twenty's. That is when life starts fucking you for no reason and fault of yours. Where every thought and action of yours can impact your whole life. There can never be a biggest concern coz u gonna have them coming up one after another. So many of them that you would lose track often. We waste most part of it running after a good paying job,searching for life partners,talking to real estate agents and making choices between investment policies that by the time we finish doing all of the above, there is a 3 year old kid holding your pinky finger and boom.....there goes your twenty's :D

What my friends think I do...What I think I do..What I really do

Dedicated to all my friends who are eager to work and to the ones who are eager to leave work :P

It definitely isn't applicable to all.
Hmmm...interesting. I see you are well versed with so-and-so software and you have worked with these languages. Your projects will prove beneficial to this industry. It is very impressive. Congratulations, you are hired!

(Big smiley...mmuah mmuaah...XOXO...)

Day-1: Formals so well starched and ironed that you can hear them crack during movements.

Introduction.Ppt (we have revenues,shares,shareholders and commercial ads)
High tea - future bosses..."yes sir""exactly sir""I want to work on this and that sir"
policies.ppt (things we never mention in an offer letter)

Day-2 : Loosen the tie (plz!). Same trousers but a different shirt.
work.ppt - (ha ha ha...u morons do u think what it takes is a PPT)
.
.
Work - This is the workflow and this is how we work. Any questions?
(after a few weeks)
Goof up 1 - How on earth do you not know the entry code used for Brazil!
You : "Errrr....coz...(I bloody didn't study any of this in 4 years) " .

Goof up 2 - You said what!
You : "Errr...coz..(that's what happened)"

Goof up 3 - You : "Ok. I'll do it"

What is the status of work?
He :  Its 80% done.

Do we have a written proposal?
She :  Yes.

What are the contingencies and back up plans for it?
He :  X & Y

Did you schedule events on the calendar?
She: Yes.

Why can we not execute Z?
He : Because it involves high risk and we lack adequate resources.

I want a table with 3 columns X,Y,Z
She: Yes Sir. 

Handful of Dust

Its Christmas!
A time for people to spend it with their loved ones. Its my second Christmas and New Year in a row away from my family and yes I miss home a lot. The past 6 months have been like a roller coaster ride but isn't that where the fun lies-a journey and not the destination that matters.
So much has been happening around with people getting married, finding better jobs, moving to different country, going to trips with their friends, posting pictures. Pictures..ah yes...how do I love pictures. They speak out more than what an entire 500 word blog can speak about. Why do we always smile and stick together to be in that digital frame? Coz those are the moments we wish to capture. A way to trick the non-seizing time and steal our brief happy intervals from it.  My entire day passed watching old pictures in my laptop and it saddened me today knowing that I'll never live back those memories. A lot changed and so did I.

Perhaps the most beautiful part of this life is it being ephemeral. More to find the reason why you should hold on tightly to that person next to you right now because this might be your last christmas or new year with him/her. Tomorrow one of you will move out somewhere far searching for greener pastures. There will be no one to blame but time.
Each day is like a gift for you to share and spread joy with people around. We search for every possible way to measure against each other. From "who scored more" followed by "how much package did he/she get" to "his wife is damn hot". When did happiness turn into show off. Was it not an internal feeling where you smile even when you sleep. I am talking of real bliss that no facebook status update can do justice to it.
I wish I could spend more of my time with my family and friends. Sit and have conversations with them that aren't on whatsapp,viber,skype,wechat,this chat-that chat but in person. Crack the stinkiest jokes and laugh carefree knowing this is the moment and I might never get another one, because we are all merely a handful of dust living a fragment of time gifted to us.    

What if

What if we switched places?
I hurt instead of getting hurt.
Will that give me more peace of mind?
Imagine a complete role reversal where my feelings precede yours, when I can be selfish and you are the dejected one.

I rescue myself from all that turmoil my mind goes through and dump it on someone else.
It is never a cycle. You can never return to being that person who trusted and yielded to someone.
The chain of events make you undergo a metamorphosis from pain to spite and then to a stoic phase where nothing stirs you inside.

What if I were just a rock. Everything would have been so much easier.

LOL

So its 3 deg celsius outside and I am in a bus on my way back home from college at 6 in the evening. Its winters so it gets dark early and I usually doze off in the 1 hour journey.
But unusually today I chose to stay awake and work on my laptop to finish from where I left!! (Unusual coz a)I avoid carrying my laptop to school b) it rarely is fully charged to work unplugged and c)studying in the bus........uggghhh....).

The next thing I realised after I closed my laptop that I have been on the bus for over an hour now. I went up to the driver and asked if we crossed my stop. He said "20 years ago,ma'am"
(LOL Part-I :D).

I got down at "donno-where"next to "some bridge" to cross the road and wait for the bus from the opposite way to take me back home.

The GPS took 25-30 secs to load and show my location and also kept flashing 7% battery (LOL Part-II).

When it finally loaded it said I was 5 miles away from my place and the next bus was after 16 mins (LOL part-III).

So, there I was...standing all alone on some dark street near a stop (didn't even looked like a stop) which just had a board for 68 metro and with a cell phone with 6% battery charge left in the chilling cold.

Things started flashing in front of me as to how wonderful this semester it has been. All of the stupid decisions, actions, consequences, repercussions have made me such a tough nut(LOL).

A bus arrived and I literally jumped in front of it. The bus driver asked a frantic-me if I was alright and for the first time I said the truth "You know what, I am not."