Handful of Dust

Its Christmas!
A time for people to spend it with their loved ones. Its my second Christmas and New Year in a row away from my family and yes I miss home a lot. The past 6 months have been like a roller coaster ride but isn't that where the fun lies-a journey and not the destination that matters.
So much has been happening around with people getting married, finding better jobs, moving to different country, going to trips with their friends, posting pictures. Pictures..ah yes...how do I love pictures. They speak out more than what an entire 500 word blog can speak about. Why do we always smile and stick together to be in that digital frame? Coz those are the moments we wish to capture. A way to trick the non-seizing time and steal our brief happy intervals from it.  My entire day passed watching old pictures in my laptop and it saddened me today knowing that I'll never live back those memories. A lot changed and so did I.

Perhaps the most beautiful part of this life is it being ephemeral. More to find the reason why you should hold on tightly to that person next to you right now because this might be your last christmas or new year with him/her. Tomorrow one of you will move out somewhere far searching for greener pastures. There will be no one to blame but time.
Each day is like a gift for you to share and spread joy with people around. We search for every possible way to measure against each other. From "who scored more" followed by "how much package did he/she get" to "his wife is damn hot". When did happiness turn into show off. Was it not an internal feeling where you smile even when you sleep. I am talking of real bliss that no facebook status update can do justice to it.
I wish I could spend more of my time with my family and friends. Sit and have conversations with them that aren't on whatsapp,viber,skype,wechat,this chat-that chat but in person. Crack the stinkiest jokes and laugh carefree knowing this is the moment and I might never get another one, because we are all merely a handful of dust living a fragment of time gifted to us.    

What if

What if we switched places?
I hurt instead of getting hurt.
Will that give me more peace of mind?
Imagine a complete role reversal where my feelings precede yours, when I can be selfish and you are the dejected one.

I rescue myself from all that turmoil my mind goes through and dump it on someone else.
It is never a cycle. You can never return to being that person who trusted and yielded to someone.
The chain of events make you undergo a metamorphosis from pain to spite and then to a stoic phase where nothing stirs you inside.

What if I were just a rock. Everything would have been so much easier.