Bipolar

Left and right with nothing in between. It's disheartening to follow for everything happening around. If only real problems could be solved with such simple divisive methods. These are age old techniques of distracting common man from real issues which affect them directly. The internet is turning into a poisonous medium of spreading false ideas with manipulative videos and messages. It has reached an epidemic level to even impact election results for nations.

Barack Obama emphasizes this so eloquently on David Letterman's show's first episode. He mentions of the bubbles we all have created for ourselves and live within them reinforcing our inclination of thoughts from biased news sources, articles and videos readily available. How the internet is trained to show you what you think and seek.

In the year of 2018 while we have machine learning and artificial intelligence technologies being used in hand held devices accessible to anyone, we are also discussing discriminations based on race, religion, gender and something as heinous as ethnic cleansing. Imagine how quickly the machines will adapt to these human biases and implement them since their algorithms are meant to study and predict our behavior.

We have seized putting our thoughts into discussions and prefer to share a viral video because it is easier to form an opinion taking a side-left or right. You will be either conservative and orthodox or you will be completely opposite with progressive views and hug people on streets. If you are a god-fearing individual but can respect others despite their sexual orientation, have hopes on the ruling party to make good changes for the country but can respect people despite their race/religion and is a patriot but can respect people with a different political view, then stop getting confused and formulating opinions from your facebook feed.

Focus and speak up on issues that matter and affect you, your family and community. Talk about your children's education and if they get healthy food, breathe clean air and grow up in a safe society. The next time you spend all that time forwarding messages against a group of people you do not agree with, think if it makes any difference to your career and is worth your time. Get selfish for a while instead of blindly following political leaders who have only exploited your trust in them. Stop living in denial that standing long hours in queues for ATM and a unique ID card is in your best interest. It is OK to admit it caused you inconvenience even though you voted and still have your faith in them. That does not make you less of a patriot.


   

Gopal

People walk in and out of our lives everyday, but some of them stay till the end. I lost a dear friend few days back and it is a heavy feeling when you are torn between writing a note for him and wishing you never had to write one. A thousand things in your mind wishing you could have said and shared with your friend. A true friend who encouraged me through the toughest times asking me to pen down thoughts and get over a writer's block.
A man loved by everyone who ever met him. Being your cheerful self, spreading joy and laughter wherever you went. You have left only happy and beautiful memories for us to cherish forever.

I wish you a peaceful afterlife Gopal Sir. May your soul rest in peace.

This is your year!

Let this new year be all about you. Invest in yourself and you wouldn't regret a day.
Read more, blabber less. Go offline, build real relationships. Laugh and smile more, worry less. Be a friend with no expectations.

Love with all of yourself and keep it simple. No mindfuck games. It'll break your heart a couple of times but you will meet the right person who is equally as vulnerable. Let the only reason be love and nothing else. Be kind. It doesn't cost you.

Price tags are for scanning bar codes not for judging others. Stop seeking validation from people who have no clue about your struggles and journey. Keep your calm and lay back. You don't owe an explanation to everyone for everything you do.

It's 2016 and that's 366 chances of bettering yourself each day. Seize it and make the best of it. I still see hope that someday all the hate is replaced. That change begins from a change within. Keep no room for spite towards someone in your heart because they eat,look,speak,pray and think different.

I repeat keep no room for spite at all.

She killed her

Beneath those carefree eye makeup she used to wipe it off before going to sleep knowing for sure it'll be another night when she cries herself to sleep. Why was she crying? Maybe that's being a woman is all about.
Yet another new room, new place and strange faces. She just had no one to dial and say that she was scared to go look under the bed or inside the closet. She just had no one to tell her its gonna be alright except for herself.
Failing to pacify her heart and give it a reason as to why is she so alone. What went wrong and why is it still not right.
A deep lurking fear what if she might have to cry herself every night for the rest of her life. What if her life was meant to be love less. The daily chaos has tired her body and she knows that no one might ever cuddle her to sleep with love.
After all the hurt, she just had to do it. Kill that little girl inside her who yearns to be loved.

Inquisitive basterds

As you grow older you get better at identifying and dealing with all kinds of people. You wouldn't love or hate people anymore. Its too strong a feeling and too much of an effort on your part. You would just let go some and hold onto some. 

In retrospection I realized how many of unnecessary fucks has been given by me to several things and people. At the end of the day it wasn't worth my time.

Moving ahead let's talk of this particular group. I named them the inquisitive bastards. It bothers so much to them since the very first day they set foot on this earth as to where you are at and if you are doing well (at all). Their childhood is spent trying to know if you scored 3 points more in social science than them, then they move to your board results, college admissions, branch, placements, salary packages, CAT or GRE score, further placements, further salaries. Basically they spend most of their lives measuring themselves and others to it.

Pitiful! Really. Mostly because they can never see a person past the competition. Maybe to find a good friend and they never will. Let me explain in plain English. I do not give a shit about your brag stories , where did you study, where do you work, how much you earn, who you meet and nor do I think mine is any of your business. If this is how you seek companionship then we won't gel any day. As long as you are good to me, I am good to you. Period.

Jackie

I saw you on my 8th birthday for the first time. Your paw stuck in those rocks while you cried for help. We picked you up and kept you warm on that cold February night. Treated your leg and you never had to limp anymore. Dearest Jackie, you were the best birthday gift ever. Its been 18 years since then but those memories of you are still crystal clear in my mind when you would sleep in my arms like a cradled little baby.

Life was simple, wasn't it Jackie? You & me playing in the backyard. We never got tired even after running in the fields the whole day. How you would come rushing to my help and finish my meal. You were always excited to see us returning from school.

You taught me how to love someone unconditionally. It was the best moment when you found out we were visiting and you stayed till the end to see us off at the bus stop. How I wish you were still here Jackie. Maybe you would have made it simpler.

50 year old

Dear 50 year old me,

Let me help you recollect a basket full of lovely memories that will make your day today. Its 1:30 am in the night of 14th April and you very easily finished 3 assignments within 12 hours before sleep. Pat yourself for it. Your nexus 5 gifted by Ronnie is your reading material every night.
Life is going good so far. Unpredictable but good. You have amazing friends who don't judge you based on your looks, grades or anything at all for that matter. Makeup or no makeup you love yourself looking in the mirror when you smile. Mornings are the best time of the day because you go running or cycling enjoying the breeze and the rays of sun. There is so much to look forward to in the next coming years and I am super excited.
You taught yourself to drive last year and you enjoy being behind the wheel now while singing to your favorite tunes. You bought yourself a car from your own savings, you performed dances on stage, wrote for your university newspaper, swam laps in the rec pool, climbed the wall in rec, danced to zumba and night club cardio, score more than 100 in a game of bowling, can serve right in tennis, slept in a tent on a rainy windy night, survived a stolen wallet and lost $1000 episode, put in money to play poker, dated your crush on valentine's day, slept on library couch during finals, worked 8 hours all night on weekend to save money for your new laptop, rode on the craziest roller coasters in six flags, can spin serve in table tennis, made friends from around the world, learned to cook chicken in coconut milk, make time to pray everyday, was gifted a talking minion Stuart and most importantly always remember you listened to your heart.
Life will beat and bog you down in many instances but you have been brave. You make me proud that you never chose to cheat the one you love and you never lost yourself while striving everyday. Get up and be the positive you!
Take your chances, make your mistakes and keep learning. Embrace the good people in your life and grow into the person you wished to be.

To Hope

To that kid who sketched a Father's Day card and sits by the window sill waiting for his Daddy to return...someday.

To that guitarist by the roadside who plays the same song written by him waiting to record an album....someday.

To that old lady whose trembling fingers caress a picture and her weak eyes that yearn to see her one grandchild...someday.

To that boy who buys his friend her favorite chocolate everyday waiting if she would feel the same...someday.

To that inmate who never committed a crime, looking out through the prison window and wishing if he could run free on those fields...someday.

To that soldier whose love might still be waiting for him to return...someday.

To that humble researcher whose work will save lives of millions waiting for that one approval.

To that parent whose child is battling it out in a hospital and waiting to take them home hale and hearty...someday.

To that little girl whose dreams go far back to her Aaita and Ma waiting to make it on her own...someday.

One good cry

Life has its own way and things will never turn necessarily the way you want them. What is in your control is the power to stay motivated. If everything were perfect, there is no urge to try more the next day. Losing is a part of being alive and it means you are trying.

We tend to expect more and get attached to our dreams. It is difficult to get over them when they don't come true and it was everything you ever wanted. This is where bracing yourself to accept defeats come handy. Play more and then you learn its all about the sport and not just the match you lost.

One good cry is a privilege given to you. There is nothing wrong in mulling over a loss for once. It makes you human to grieve over a defeat. Take it, soak it all in, make your one good cry and then embrace the next new day. But remember no loss in the world deserves more. Don't look back another day and wish "If only..". No! Move on and make your one good cry worth its time. 

She shouldn't

BBC'S documentary on "India's Daughter" has created this recent uproar of why the video should be banned in India mostly for technical reasons. I watched the entire documentary and I believe there's nothing much unknown about the facts shown in it. Banning the video is similar to the attacks on protesters at India gate for Nirbhaya.
Coming to the point, it has excerpts from one of the accused rapists in addition to 2 defendant lawyers for them. Does it shock me to hear their justifications for what was done was appropriate. Well maybe not. I was born and raised in this country and I know how people think. A major chunk of people still believe today that women aren't equal and it is fine to show them their place.
American women practiced their right to vote for the first time in 1920 and that too after decades of struggling. Today they earn equal wages, enjoy freedom and have been granted equal rights. But that's too westernized for our culture.
We had an iron lady as our prime minister for over a decade. A female President and two consecutive Lok Sabha speakers which goes to show our women get equal treatment. But a society is identified from the position a woman is given.
Drilling down where does all this spite for women originate. Some people cannot tolerate people different from them, be it a different gender, different race even different religion. This intolerance escalates to a level of so much hatred that one can go about inflicting horrendous sexual violence on someone who never has and never will cause any harm to them.  It still is unacceptable for a girl to be out on her own and if she is willing to take the risk then it is rightful for men to rape and teach her a lesson. These men claim with an audacity that she shouldn't and that's why we should.

Picture from 1967 Boston Marathon where the first lady runner Kathrine Switzer took part. “No woman can run the Boston Marathon,” said Arnie Briggs, Kathrine Switzer’s running coach.  

Halo

I have absolutely made peace with the fact in my mind that the affection I give to a person may not necessarily be received with the same intensity and returned back at all, but that does not imply that one needs to hold back their honest feelings. The only thing you should hold back is a fart in public.

But if you do not mean them and you are faking it then stop immediately. It is wrong to play with feelings that aren't yours. Stop your tease and get people off the hook. They deserve better people in their life than selfish ones like you. Stop bullshitting and wasting their time while you are toying with them boosting up a misplaced ego. 

Doesn't it hurt your conscience in any way? Do you sleep in peace? How do you face yourself in the mirror? Or are you so much in love with yourself that the world only revolves around you making everyone else insignificant? 

Think over it and please stop doing what you are doing! 

Proposal

Let's just say there was only one religion. Humanity. No, but then we'll have excuses to kill animals saying they are not from our religious group.
Ok, one religion just for being...being alive.

Next we have a humongous group with a unanimity for their own religion. No, but then they'll seek for their leaders. One for humans,one for animals, one for houseflies and one for bitches.
Ok,one leader just for all...that too a good one who is self righteous and humble.

Next we give them sources of energy. No, but then they'll kill each other to get it.
Ok,one resource which is unlimited and accessible to all.

Next we will give them a purpose of being alive. No, but then they'll turn selfish for their gains.
Ok,one purpose only for all...live and let live.

Dear god, can we please have a fresh start?

What is wrong with you?

Sticking out his tongue with his head popped outside the window, he never seemed so detached from me. I rubbed his furry neck "You haven't been yourself lately and don't eat well either.Pugsy, what is wrong with you?"

He turned around and said "What is wrong with me??? You ignored the little child who came begging for money at the traffic signal but you never think twice spending an extra 1000 when buying yourself a dress. You gather around,meet a bunch of people over meals and drinks only to keep your head low and text that person who isn't present, you crave approval from people who don't even care about you.

What bothers you if your friend is doing better than you instead of achieving your own goals. You spend three quarters of your life working your ass off and earn only to spend all of it to regain a lost health in your last quarter of life.

You care more about the length of her skirt than her vagabond ideas. You have an excess of educated young people wagging their tails around for a good pay but none to lead the nation. You adorn a bamboo plant in your house because it brings you prosperity but will cut down forests. You kill harmless animals for their meat, tusks, skin and think posing nude for a PETA poster is a contribution. You will dump ice on your head to donate but not help a diseased man on the road.

You fear god and pray for only yourself while knowing that each day thousands of people are being killed,houses bombed,forced to flee from their homes and live in refugee camps. There are mothers cradling hungry babies near railway tracks and all that matters to you if I ate my pedigree. What is wrong with you?"

I hit the brakes hard. "Damn, my dog talks!"

Lilac

6 am already!
I could kill to get 5 more minutes. One big day lied ahead. Her first performance on stage. She loves her dress especially the lilac laces I stitched at the hem.

I stared myself for a while in the mirror. My eyes look dull. How time flies.  Years ago there used to be a sticky note every morning on this same mirror. I have each one of them stored safely in a box inside the storeroom. Though I don't look at them anymore now.

"Happy birthday Ma!"
I turned around to find my angel in her teddy bear pajamas. Rubbing her sleepy eyes she held a lily plucked from our backyard. It meant everything.

Her play was fabulous. Children grow so talented these days. All the parents were gifted with a bouquet by the kids at the closing event. I forgot mine and left them lying on the chair.

She won't eat tonight with all her excitement and endless talk. I could finally put her to sleep. The doorbell rang at 11:30.

There was no one outside. As I was about to close the door lied there  at the doorstep, the same bouquet of lilies. Tied to its end was a scrolled note.
"She's got your eyes, but they look at you just the way I did."

Rachel Green

The one who made it to Ralph Lauren all the way from a coffee house waitress by herself. She was the most inspiring of all. Sabotaging Ross's every relationship, Rachel did come across as a selfish  person.You end up loving her even though she started off as a vain rich girl but grows up to be a strong independent woman throughout the series. Chubby ankles couldn't keep her from running off in a bridal dress and take on a new life.
Finds a guy, falls in love, gets off a plane, has a wedding, gives birth to a beautiful baby girl with the guy she loves..but none in the right order coz it would have made her normal then.

Lightbulb

Treading towards a distant statue perched on top of a hill. A strange feeling of calm overcomes me. Seeing his peaceful composure it leaves you with thoughts. Amidst all that chaos is a being in peace that we forget.

We tend to make our inner conflicts the truth. Most of what could be the truth but exaggerated beyond their triviality. Why does it matter what others think of us when we know who we really are and that conscience is sufficient to attain not success but inner peace. Project what you may but people see what their minds seek to believe.

The only person who doesn't need an explanation is you. If you choose to be sincere when you can cheat defines you. We can bluff everyone but not the one who stares us in the mirror. Loving deeply and getting hurt in return is not regrettable but a chance of growth. It instills a faith on yourself that things might seem to be going wrong but not you.

Why bother?

You know what saddens me most that you and I are educated enough today to read this on internet and yet there are 200 kidnapped school girls out there who are living a hell. That a group of militants can openly declare to the world that these girls will be sold as sex slaves and all we can do is follow news. That their childhood has been scarred forever. That I failed my purpose of education and writing a blog to express my grief in no way solves the situation.

It has been nearly 40 days since the girls were kidnapped from their school and I dread to even imagine what horrendous episodes they are going through at this hour. Innocent children who have been exposed to the darkness for no fault of theirs. No...this goes beyond third world countries and  terrorist groups; it goes beyond feminist activists and child abuse. It is but a reflection of the value of human lives. How insensitive and selfish we have become. A nation which harbours natural resources has attracted oil giants to invest and mint money out of them. If half the amount of funds spent in developing an oil asset is used to operate a rescue team for these girls; they would have been released by now. These ideas are far-fetched and eccentric to a pragmatic profit venturing system.

What good have we done spending billions & billions developing arms, warfare and weapons of mass destruction when we are helpless in saving our own children. Oh! Sorry, I forgot. Men have been shot, women have been raped, cities have been bombed and nations have been attacked. As long as it doesn’t directly affect our lives..why bother?       

Still or Sparkling?

Took my headphones off and I craned my neck after watching a documentary on the screen. Couple,couple with baby,big family,grumpy businessman reading Forbes, saffron clad guruji, another couple with baby, young guy with cool t-shirt & goatee, intelligent bob cut aunty wearing half-moon glasses with lace. Fleeting impulse...if this flight has insufficient number of parachutes how will I defend my case in this group.Maybe I should just cling onto bob cut aunty...

"Do you need some water Ma'am?"
"Yes, please!"
"Still or Sparkling?"
(Are you freaking kidding me! I drank drawing water from a well in a bucket once)"..errrr Still will do"

Guruji and business guy laid across their seats like they do in sleeper coaches. I sat on the window seat with my next two seats empty.The last time I took this same flight from India to Germany, it was jam packed. Apparently, people fly out of India more and do not wish to return back home often. I am the only one in my family who hasn't traveled in business class yet and so lying straight on the seats felt like a luxury. Not the real deal but not bad for a bargained check on the list.Dozed off in no time only to be waken up by a flight steward who wanted to serve me more food after the big meal I had an hour ago! Why are we still flying??

4 out of 5 articles today on quora made me realise that only coding and knowing to program things are skills to become competent nowadays. The fifth post talked about developing the prefrontal cortex by doing hard things. Does that mean the 2 days I spent watching Jaws and shark attacks on people in Florida Keys has made me dimmer by 48 hours? Strategizing attacks on my enemies by hiding crossbow archers in upgraded watch towers with a simultaneous fleet attack of galleons & fire ships should be counted as brain exercises #AOE.

Bottom line : Your stillness today cannot restrict your sparkle tomorrow. Also, be it still or sparkling what quenches your thirst matters the most.

#Sharkattacks

When I become a mother

I have begun to cherish on the fact that someday I will be given the privilege too of becoming a mother. As a daughter I have learnt a lot from my mother about motherhood. The silent sacrifices, compromises, selfless love and concern make me proud to be her daughter. She is the prime reason for making me who I am today and I owe it all to her.

When I become a mother I hope I can do the same. Make my children feel that no matter whatever be the odds against them, they will always have me beside to support them. I want them to grow up respecting each individual for their thoughts and not judge people based on the colour of their skin, the god they pray, the place they belong, their gender, height , abilities or disabilities, the width of their eyes, brand of clothes, sexual orientations. I want my children to learn how to enjoy science, literature, music, sports and show them that there is so much more to life rather than chasing after good grades, money and facebook likes. Make them understand that abstinence does not mean purity of heart. I hope they make good friends and find love, so that they are taken care of when I am not around.

That I will do anything and everything possible to the best of my ability for fulfilling their wishes. Protect them from the ills of the world and nurture their childhood. Brace them for struggles of life and teach to never give up.I wish they will appreciate that while I cozy them up in a colourful blanket every night, there are children out there of the same age who are sleeping on a pavement under a street lamp tired collecting rags all day.Every child is born with a character and its own destiny. But there is a huge impact on the parenting the child received. This short journey of ours here will hold more meaning to us if we could raise and give a good human being to the world.

Bleh...

Hard working and diligent?
Good. Well so is the donkey who carries heavy load for his master everyday. Do you think the master is compassionate towards it? Nope. He needs money and when he gets it he will probably trade that same hard working donkey for a stallion to show off.
That's how life works my dear friends. So its your choice if you want to be the donkey or the wolf.
I hate the wolves but those rascals know how to survive. They thrive on their swiftness and agility. Have you ever seen a wolf getting tamed for domestic purpose; that's coz it knows to hunt and fetch for itself.

Sometimes I doubt my abilities and get struck by pangs of fear & guilt thinking do I even deserve this. Have I been faking it all along and no one has found out the truth yet.  What are the chances I will make it through. There are people who are both way more sincere and smarter than me. Am I worth to be here. And that is when the implosion occurs. Panic stricken and tense is all I do and stop trying. 

I lose my faith in talent when I witness undeserving people stepping over the good ones. But they don't seem to have an issue with it, so why am I bothered about it. I am in a dilemma actually which side to join. We tend to do what we naturally like to do-either work hard like the donkeys without thinking why or know when to pound on the right moment like the wolves.  

Anyhow, these worldly gibberish never did any good to mankind. Be what you want to be. The best donkey or the best wolf.

I always knew what I wanted to be. The Stallion!