Handful of Dust

Its Christmas!
A time for people to spend it with their loved ones. Its my second Christmas and New Year in a row away from my family and yes I miss home a lot. The past 6 months have been like a roller coaster ride but isn't that where the fun lies-a journey and not the destination that matters.
So much has been happening around with people getting married, finding better jobs, moving to different country, going to trips with their friends, posting pictures. Pictures..ah yes...how do I love pictures. They speak out more than what an entire 500 word blog can speak about. Why do we always smile and stick together to be in that digital frame? Coz those are the moments we wish to capture. A way to trick the non-seizing time and steal our brief happy intervals from it.  My entire day passed watching old pictures in my laptop and it saddened me today knowing that I'll never live back those memories. A lot changed and so did I.

Perhaps the most beautiful part of this life is it being ephemeral. More to find the reason why you should hold on tightly to that person next to you right now because this might be your last christmas or new year with him/her. Tomorrow one of you will move out somewhere far searching for greener pastures. There will be no one to blame but time.
Each day is like a gift for you to share and spread joy with people around. We search for every possible way to measure against each other. From "who scored more" followed by "how much package did he/she get" to "his wife is damn hot". When did happiness turn into show off. Was it not an internal feeling where you smile even when you sleep. I am talking of real bliss that no facebook status update can do justice to it.
I wish I could spend more of my time with my family and friends. Sit and have conversations with them that aren't on whatsapp,viber,skype,wechat,this chat-that chat but in person. Crack the stinkiest jokes and laugh carefree knowing this is the moment and I might never get another one, because we are all merely a handful of dust living a fragment of time gifted to us.    

What if

What if we switched places?
I hurt instead of getting hurt.
Will that give me more peace of mind?
Imagine a complete role reversal where my feelings precede yours, when I can be selfish and you are the dejected one.

I rescue myself from all that turmoil my mind goes through and dump it on someone else.
It is never a cycle. You can never return to being that person who trusted and yielded to someone.
The chain of events make you undergo a metamorphosis from pain to spite and then to a stoic phase where nothing stirs you inside.

What if I were just a rock. Everything would have been so much easier.

LOL

So its 3 deg celsius outside and I am in a bus on my way back home from college at 6 in the evening. Its winters so it gets dark early and I usually doze off in the 1 hour journey.
But unusually today I chose to stay awake and work on my laptop to finish from where I left!! (Unusual coz a)I avoid carrying my laptop to school b) it rarely is fully charged to work unplugged and c)studying in the bus........uggghhh....).

The next thing I realised after I closed my laptop that I have been on the bus for over an hour now. I went up to the driver and asked if we crossed my stop. He said "20 years ago,ma'am"
(LOL Part-I :D).

I got down at "donno-where"next to "some bridge" to cross the road and wait for the bus from the opposite way to take me back home.

The GPS took 25-30 secs to load and show my location and also kept flashing 7% battery (LOL Part-II).

When it finally loaded it said I was 5 miles away from my place and the next bus was after 16 mins (LOL part-III).

So, there I was...standing all alone on some dark street near a stop (didn't even looked like a stop) which just had a board for 68 metro and with a cell phone with 6% battery charge left in the chilling cold.

Things started flashing in front of me as to how wonderful this semester it has been. All of the stupid decisions, actions, consequences, repercussions have made me such a tough nut(LOL).

A bus arrived and I literally jumped in front of it. The bus driver asked a frantic-me if I was alright and for the first time I said the truth "You know what, I am not."
 

Worth what

Time - 04:16 am

Mental State- Calm at present

Hunger State - 2 cups of coffee

Hours of spent perseverance into kaput! (5 hrs to be precise)

But here is the positive side to it. This feeling of trying and failing gives me a sense of satisfaction than not trying at all and failing.

Dwajan-Gogoi "The Theory of Guys"

 

HAPPY BIRTHDAY RONNIE!

Miles and miles apart...and still you never forget to call and check if I am doing ok :)

 

Fed me

                                                                  

Played with me

  and been there for me since my first step

Cheesy how it may sound but I can't begin to tell you how much I miss you.

Wishing you a very Happy Birthday bro :*

 

 

Space

I loved the book "The Secret" by Rhonda Bryne. It talked so much of positivity and faith that it changes your approach to life.
Sometimes I feel as if I am sending signals out into a vast infinity that disappear out there amidst all the other signals, but then it happens that for once you receive a response from this dark space and it makes you want to make an effort. The yield is the learning from the process of trying and not the goal.

Murphy's scam

I just came back from a workshop which talked of developing presentation skills and I wondered while returning if it was worth attending after waking up early on a weekend,spending half of my day on it. Maybe it was useful to an extent but not much at the cost of the precious time I barely have in hand presently.

When he mentioned of Murphy's law it reminded me of the string of events going wrong with my life right now and why I am Murphy's favorite person.

A lot has happened in the last month and a lot will happen in the coming time. If the devil called life and Murphy are done plotting against me, maybe the rainbow which shone after the shower will stay for me. My friend recently said how certain things are beyond our control in a casual conversation and that line has been echoing in my mind over and over. Isn't it interesting why life & wife rhyme? I can guess why..cos both of them are so moody and unpredictable! Sometimes she is a darling and making your life all comfortable and then the next moment she would blast for some past and start throwing things at you.

Stringed puppets,aren't we? But, if only we were dull & lifeless without feelings and hearts then life would have been so much simpler.

So, what do we learn and what do we get....we are a helpless bunch living under someone's mercy but the bottom line is that it doesn't mean we stop living with dignity.
As I always say...expect less, hope more and work hard( Hey there friend! Long time no see :P ).   

Horny Sexy Busty Babe

Good! So now that I have got your attention lets have a talk :P

Do you smirk whenever you spot an oomph female ?
(pardon my language, but I couldn't describe it better).

But straying aside parameters that yield drooling consequences, lets focus on average girl next doors.

Lesson 1 : Dumber the chick,easier the game.
True. But, here is how you turn into a pro from an amateur (frisbee-throwing-spiked gelled hair with a goatee) when you can accept whats beyond Lesson 1 i.e "Smarter the chick,tougher to win her over."

Lesson 2 : Highest bidder wins
Doing her favours,buying her gifts and giving your rapt attention does not make you the highest bidder that is because she has a mind of her own too unlike a boat or a painting, you fool!!!
The amount of time you invest is NOT directly proportional to the degree of your likeability.

Lesson 3 :  Last resort - Sour Grapes
"She has an attitude"
LOL...fuck she does! :D

Yaha kadak acid paya jata hai!

Pyar me dhokha ya fir shadi se inkaar?
Har dard ki ek dawa...."BADLA ACID".

BADLA ACID ka jalwa dekhiye aur apne khoye hue pyar ko barbaad kariye.

Kya aapki aashiqui ko usne hamesha nazarandaz kiya hai?

Jab aap bike pe baithke uske moholle me ghuma karte hai,usse din raat taarte rehte hai, wo gali se guzre toh seeti bajate hai, apne doston ke sath sirf usse cheda karte hai aur fir bhi wo aapke ishq ki kadar nahi  karti toh aapko chahiye hamara 100% asardar BADLA ACID! 

Aur ab Season Ending SALE ka lutf uthaiye :
Offer 1 : 1 Bottle BADLA ACID ke sath 1 Rohypnol tablet FREE
Offer 2 : 1 Bottle BADLA ACID ke sath 1 spray bottle FREE !!!

Jaldi aaiye...Offer sirf seemit stock me hi uplabdh hai!

Prologue

Lipstick stained cigarette butts lying on the floor, clad only in a light blue stripped cotton shirt, her feet crossed across the stool in front of the chair she sat, newspapers stacked on the table, a dark room with a table lamp lit at her desk….she bore herself into every article that even remotely related to the accident.

7 months 9 days have passed since that dreadful day and yet she would not yield to the post-mortem results to call it a reckless driving road accident. It killed her inside with guilt and she considered herself responsible for the death of her parents. She wished every possible way that could have prevented it including fearing from the threat calls if not for herself but for them.

The court doors had closed for her. They buried all clues of murder and bought the jury members. She couldn’t do much except to go into seclusion. For the first time in 18 years she shed a tear of guilt, remorse and anger. The most reputed professional and considered the best of her times, her 11 years of career as a freelance reporter proved her worst curse. She never feared for her life and they knew that well. Her hiring agents teamed up against her and identified her weakness.

She rose with grit in her eyes. It never ended here and now it was her turn to avenge their death. After scribbling 9 names on a piece of paper she picked up the phone. It was time to play her set of cards…

Jawani agar na hui deewani toh wo Jawani kis kaam ki?

I never expected to get amazed by this movie. So on a Saturday evening I went for “Ye Jawani hai Deewani” with my least expectations for a good movie, but to my surprise I had a nice time watching it. 

Ayan Mukherjee..you..you...did it again didn’t you? You bloody genius!

My age old habit to dig for the hints for predicting any writer, here is the list of things I found common in both his flicks (YJHD & Wake up Sid):

1. SLRs, spectacular cinematography and a passionate photographer

2. A rebellious young son who is undoubtedly adored & supported by his parents and embarrassingly I gave in this time too. I shed tears when Ranbir watches his mom attempting to read English and yet again when he has the last conversation with Farooq Sheikh before leaving to US. Ayan Mukherjee highlights the parent-son relation so wonderfully that I couldn’t help myself missing my parents.

                                          

3. Last but definitely not the least...Ranbir Kapoor! He lives my dream in YJHD and I would do absolutely anything to live his life someday.

Go and watch the movie if you like travel and travel shows.

Or else just go and watch it for a beautiful Deepika with a trimmed waistline !

Even if you don’t then take the message out of the movie to live your life to the fullest.

Do not become the cranky uncle/aunty of the neighbourhood whose place is out of limits when the kids come to fetch the cricket ball. The next generation will never appear spoilt and `manner-less’ unless you had your share of fun in your days.    

Seize the moment and enjoy...laugh,learn,love and live because you get to be young only once.

Talent

Talent is similar to a cleavage.
You have to identify the appropriate place for one to notice.
Do not expect to be appreciated if you are on a fat guy's hairy butt !

Utopia-My Paradise

Welcome to my world!
You might not meet unicorns or leprechauns here but people smile without fear or contempt.

Where every curious child is not deprived of learning and good schools are made of good students rather than brand investors.
Where every human has a bed to rest and roof for shelter.A place where heat and cold is for everyone to share and not merely some who cannot afford air-conditioners and 4-wheelers.
Where men were brought up respecting women. They did not rape but made love to them.
Where women behaved less vague and pondered more. Their thoughts focused on nurturing rather than entirely on what to wear and soap operas.
Where love and trust are not breached. Parents do not fear old age for abandonment and spend joyous last days crawling with their grandchildren.
Where broken hearts could be healed with an ointment.
Where wars never existed and fights held only within rings with rules & referee.
Where prostitution was a choice and not forced.
Where religion was personal and a way to communicate to a supreme force. A one-on-one gesture that could not be a reason to kill another believer.

A place filled with tinkling laughter of children,men and women with their heart's content.

The world is a market and you are a brand

"Kuch toh log kahenge, logo ka toh kaam hi hai kehna"

See, its pretty simple. People talk and that is the reason why they are called 'people' - faceless bubbles. But the choice is yours if you would want to waste your time listening to them or rather listen to your  heart. That decision to make a choice will set you apart as an individual with a face and a name or just another faceless member of the crowd.

Being different isn't a crime, its an act of daring to be yourself. Individuality is a birthright and you are the only one who can claim it. The world today has turned into a market where good brands sell, mediocre brands go unnoticed and the bad ass brands might actually gain you profits.
YOU ARE A BRAND and sooner or later you will have to realise how to market your brand out there. Every action, thought process, spoken words are reflections of your brand and it takes skill to carry it around well.  I have noticed many a times when people weigh the humor not according to its quality but by the rep of the originator. A good branding helps you bag those goody points, earn a reputation and a distinct label for yourself.

The cut-throat competition reminds you of the significance as to why promote a brand. But similar to good brands its the underlying quality of a person that makes him/her stand tall. Respect is an intangible aspect that one earns from his/her output. Leaders are the best examples of brand promotions when the inexperienced ones have to struggle and demand respect from their followers whereas a good leader just like established brands are least bothered for quality checks. Their actions and words command respect and nonetheless their indispensability. The prime reason why Salman's no brainer flicks can break box office records, facebook replaced orkut, HIMYM has Barney Stinson and Amitabh's omnipresence on television.

990 LEGO pieces assembled into MAERSK Line container ship

Kali

The dogs howled at the full moon which stared an empty road stretching out for miles.

She took out her cell phone for the 16^th time and wiped a sweat trickling down her brow. The street lights stood tall and fixed as silent guardians. One of the light bulbs flickered similar to the horror movie scenes, she thought to herself.

Her wedge heels started hurting the ankles now and it was getting difficult for her to walk on the uneven road. She looked around and found a homeless family sleeping on the other side of the road. The bhelpuri vendor was least bothered as well and was preoccupied packing up for the day. Annie decided to take her heels off and started walking barefoot.

Her maroon bandhni print kurta and navy blue jeans were in a perfect contrast and she wore two wooden bangles on her right wrist. If only, she knew of the auto strike today, Annie would have left early from work with her colleagues.

A distinct set of beats approach the road from a distance and as the car speeds up closer to Annie, the loud blaring music gets clearer. Before she could even turn her head to see, she is swooped by two guys and thrown inside the car behind the driver. The guy sitting next to the driver shrieks out and throws a liquor bottle at the beggars who stood there shocked. The glass bottle crashes near their feet and they step aback.

The white scorpio with tinted glass windows roves ahead and exits the road. A series of groping, biting, scratching and slapping begins inside the vehicle. Her hands are held tight as she struggles to move. Freeing one of her legs out of a corner she kicks the drunk driver hard on his head. The man hits the glass window and loses control. In a sudden moment , the car diverts from the main road and dashes on to a tree. A canister is hissed open and the last sight is of two cajoled-eyes behind a gas mask.

He gently open his eyes and shrugs to move,  gains his senses and finds that the four of them are tied on to a tree in the middle of a forest with a barbed wire.

____________________________________________________

They rush outside when they hear him parking his scooter. “Daddy is home!” The two little girls chirp around in excitement and can’t wait for their mother to open the door. Planting a kiss each on the foreheads of his 7 year old twins, Jai Kishanji settles down on the chair. A struggling day is all worth it in the end to see his angels smile. They have a simple dinner with rice, lentils and onions. He puts them to sleep by tugging them in their blankets and switches off the 40W light bulb dangling from he roof. The three hours of the day when he gets to meet his babies are the best moments. He wakes up early and leaves for work as a local train driver sharp by 5 am on his old second hand scooter.

                __________________________________________________

She stares directly into his eyes with a wicked smile on her pursed lips. A woman’s fixed gaze on him for the first time makes him uncomfortable. His eyes move swiftly and he looks at the others. She slaps him straight across his face and gives a wry smile. The exact slyness that the group of boys used to pass when she walked through the lane for tuitions, the same dirty look the chemistry lab assistant gave while passing her a beaker...the devilish smile he gave her when walking out of the courtroom.

His face is tightened and he warns her with clenched teeth.  The reactions excite Annie and she slaps him twice. This time harder planting her finger marks on his cheeks. He is the eldest of them all in mid-30s and the embarrassment boils him within. The other three men watch with confusion until one of them abuses her.

Annie moves back and stands up. She pulls out a blood-stained axe tucked in her jeans below her kurta and lets out a laugh.  For the first time in their lives does a woman’s tinkling laughter shiver these pervert men for real.  As she lifts the axe straight over one of their heads, the cries for mercy take her back to the moment when...

Annie checks her buzzing cell phone after the lecture. 47 missed calls in an hour. She calls back her mother who does not pick the call. There is a pang of fear and she redials. After 7 rings, a stranger answers saying her mother is at Safdarjung Hospital and her sister’s condition is critical.

Annie holds Priya’s hand firmly asking her to get up. Priya’s face is unidentifiable with the injuries. The animals had punched her face near her eyes and beaten her violently before the rape. She held Annie’s hand back for a moment to utter the words in a feeble voice: “I begged them for mercy each time”.

The police interrogates Jai Kishanji at their house after the funeral.

Q.”Why was she out at 8 pm? (Doesn’t she know the streets are unsafe?)

A: Priya’s friend invited her for a birthday party.  I have always had full faith on my girls and I do not impose curfews on them.

Q.”Did she have male friends?” (Did she have a string of boyfriends?)

A: Yes. My daughter was an amiable person and always surrounded with many friends both girls & boys.

 Q.”One of the rapists was her batchmate. We are suspecting a forlorn lover’s revenge.  Are you aware if your daughter was having an affair?”

A brief moment of silence fell in the room. Jai Kishanji folded his hands in a plea with tearful eyes and asked them to leave.

They hire a lawyer for the case who claims himself as the best and assures them justice. The case dragged for 2 years and they mortgaged their village property. After 4-1/2 years the high court found the accused innocent and cleared all the convictions upon them.

Annie stands near the court-room door with her parents who shed tears of helplessness. Her eyes meet his and he smirks after eyeing her from top to toe. She stood there shell-shocked as his smile pins her there at that point. A gush of feelings arise in her and it was then when Annie realises what she was meant to do in this life.

48 days later a mutilated body was found in Kali Nagar dumped near the municipal garbage bin in a black polythene. The news paper reports said that post mortems confirmed his name as the same guy who was convicted for Priya Kishan’s rape & murder in 2004. The head and his private part were missing.