Halo

I have absolutely made peace with the fact in my mind that the affection I give to a person may not necessarily be received with the same intensity and returned back at all, but that does not imply that one needs to hold back their honest feelings. The only thing you should hold back is a fart in public.

But if you do not mean them and you are faking it then stop immediately. It is wrong to play with feelings that aren't yours. Stop your tease and get people off the hook. They deserve better people in their life than selfish ones like you. Stop bullshitting and wasting their time while you are toying with them boosting up a misplaced ego. 

Doesn't it hurt your conscience in any way? Do you sleep in peace? How do you face yourself in the mirror? Or are you so much in love with yourself that the world only revolves around you making everyone else insignificant? 

Think over it and please stop doing what you are doing! 

Proposal

Let's just say there was only one religion. Humanity. No, but then we'll have excuses to kill animals saying they are not from our religious group.
Ok, one religion just for being...being alive.

Next we have a humongous group with a unanimity for their own religion. No, but then they'll seek for their leaders. One for humans,one for animals, one for houseflies and one for bitches.
Ok,one leader just for all...that too a good one who is self righteous and humble.

Next we give them sources of energy. No, but then they'll kill each other to get it.
Ok,one resource which is unlimited and accessible to all.

Next we will give them a purpose of being alive. No, but then they'll turn selfish for their gains.
Ok,one purpose only for all...live and let live.

Dear god, can we please have a fresh start?

What is wrong with you?

Sticking out his tongue with his head popped outside the window, he never seemed so detached from me. I rubbed his furry neck "You haven't been yourself lately and don't eat well either.Pugsy, what is wrong with you?"

He turned around and said "What is wrong with me??? You ignored the little child who came begging for money at the traffic signal but you never think twice spending an extra 1000 when buying yourself a dress. You gather around,meet a bunch of people over meals and drinks only to keep your head low and text that person who isn't present, you crave approval from people who don't even care about you.

What bothers you if your friend is doing better than you instead of achieving your own goals. You spend three quarters of your life working your ass off and earn only to spend all of it to regain a lost health in your last quarter of life.

You care more about the length of her skirt than her vagabond ideas. You have an excess of educated young people wagging their tails around for a good pay but none to lead the nation. You adorn a bamboo plant in your house because it brings you prosperity but will cut down forests. You kill harmless animals for their meat, tusks, skin and think posing nude for a PETA poster is a contribution. You will dump ice on your head to donate but not help a diseased man on the road.

You fear god and pray for only yourself while knowing that each day thousands of people are being killed,houses bombed,forced to flee from their homes and live in refugee camps. There are mothers cradling hungry babies near railway tracks and all that matters to you if I ate my pedigree. What is wrong with you?"

I hit the brakes hard. "Damn, my dog talks!"

Lilac

6 am already!
I could kill to get 5 more minutes. One big day lied ahead. Her first performance on stage. She loves her dress especially the lilac laces I stitched at the hem.

I stared myself for a while in the mirror. My eyes look dull. How time flies.  Years ago there used to be a sticky note every morning on this same mirror. I have each one of them stored safely in a box inside the storeroom. Though I don't look at them anymore now.

"Happy birthday Ma!"
I turned around to find my angel in her teddy bear pajamas. Rubbing her sleepy eyes she held a lily plucked from our backyard. It meant everything.

Her play was fabulous. Children grow so talented these days. All the parents were gifted with a bouquet by the kids at the closing event. I forgot mine and left them lying on the chair.

She won't eat tonight with all her excitement and endless talk. I could finally put her to sleep. The doorbell rang at 11:30.

There was no one outside. As I was about to close the door lied there  at the doorstep, the same bouquet of lilies. Tied to its end was a scrolled note.
"She's got your eyes, but they look at you just the way I did."

Rachel Green

The one who made it to Ralph Lauren all the way from a coffee house waitress by herself. She was the most inspiring of all. Sabotaging Ross's every relationship, Rachel did come across as a selfish  person.You end up loving her even though she started off as a vain rich girl but grows up to be a strong independent woman throughout the series. Chubby ankles couldn't keep her from running off in a bridal dress and take on a new life.
Finds a guy, falls in love, gets off a plane, has a wedding, gives birth to a beautiful baby girl with the guy she loves..but none in the right order coz it would have made her normal then.

Lightbulb

Treading towards a distant statue perched on top of a hill. A strange feeling of calm overcomes me. Seeing his peaceful composure it leaves you with thoughts. Amidst all that chaos is a being in peace that we forget.

We tend to make our inner conflicts the truth. Most of what could be the truth but exaggerated beyond their triviality. Why does it matter what others think of us when we know who we really are and that conscience is sufficient to attain not success but inner peace. Project what you may but people see what their minds seek to believe.

The only person who doesn't need an explanation is you. If you choose to be sincere when you can cheat defines you. We can bluff everyone but not the one who stares us in the mirror. Loving deeply and getting hurt in return is not regrettable but a chance of growth. It instills a faith on yourself that things might seem to be going wrong but not you.

Why bother?

You know what saddens me most that you and I are educated enough today to read this on internet and yet there are 200 kidnapped school girls out there who are living a hell. That a group of militants can openly declare to the world that these girls will be sold as sex slaves and all we can do is follow news. That their childhood has been scarred forever. That I failed my purpose of education and writing a blog to express my grief in no way solves the situation.

It has been nearly 40 days since the girls were kidnapped from their school and I dread to even imagine what horrendous episodes they are going through at this hour. Innocent children who have been exposed to the darkness for no fault of theirs. No...this goes beyond third world countries and  terrorist groups; it goes beyond feminist activists and child abuse. It is but a reflection of the value of human lives. How insensitive and selfish we have become. A nation which harbours natural resources has attracted oil giants to invest and mint money out of them. If half the amount of funds spent in developing an oil asset is used to operate a rescue team for these girls; they would have been released by now. These ideas are far-fetched and eccentric to a pragmatic profit venturing system.

What good have we done spending billions & billions developing arms, warfare and weapons of mass destruction when we are helpless in saving our own children. Oh! Sorry, I forgot. Men have been shot, women have been raped, cities have been bombed and nations have been attacked. As long as it doesn’t directly affect our lives..why bother?       

Still or Sparkling?

Took my headphones off and I craned my neck after watching a documentary on the screen. Couple,couple with baby,big family,grumpy businessman reading Forbes, saffron clad guruji, another couple with baby, young guy with cool t-shirt & goatee, intelligent bob cut aunty wearing half-moon glasses with lace. Fleeting impulse...if this flight has insufficient number of parachutes how will I defend my case in this group.Maybe I should just cling onto bob cut aunty...

"Do you need some water Ma'am?"
"Yes, please!"
"Still or Sparkling?"
(Are you freaking kidding me! I drank drawing water from a well in a bucket once)"..errrr Still will do"

Guruji and business guy laid across their seats like they do in sleeper coaches. I sat on the window seat with my next two seats empty.The last time I took this same flight from India to Germany, it was jam packed. Apparently, people fly out of India more and do not wish to return back home often. I am the only one in my family who hasn't traveled in business class yet and so lying straight on the seats felt like a luxury. Not the real deal but not bad for a bargained check on the list.Dozed off in no time only to be waken up by a flight steward who wanted to serve me more food after the big meal I had an hour ago! Why are we still flying??

4 out of 5 articles today on quora made me realise that only coding and knowing to program things are skills to become competent nowadays. The fifth post talked about developing the prefrontal cortex by doing hard things. Does that mean the 2 days I spent watching Jaws and shark attacks on people in Florida Keys has made me dimmer by 48 hours? Strategizing attacks on my enemies by hiding crossbow archers in upgraded watch towers with a simultaneous fleet attack of galleons & fire ships should be counted as brain exercises #AOE.

Bottom line : Your stillness today cannot restrict your sparkle tomorrow. Also, be it still or sparkling what quenches your thirst matters the most.

#Sharkattacks

When I become a mother

I have begun to cherish on the fact that someday I will be given the privilege too of becoming a mother. As a daughter I have learnt a lot from my mother about motherhood. The silent sacrifices, compromises, selfless love and concern make me proud to be her daughter. She is the prime reason for making me who I am today and I owe it all to her.

When I become a mother I hope I can do the same. Make my children feel that no matter whatever be the odds against them, they will always have me beside to support them. I want them to grow up respecting each individual for their thoughts and not judge people based on the colour of their skin, the god they pray, the place they belong, their gender, height , abilities or disabilities, the width of their eyes, brand of clothes, sexual orientations. I want my children to learn how to enjoy science, literature, music, sports and show them that there is so much more to life rather than chasing after good grades, money and facebook likes. Make them understand that abstinence does not mean purity of heart. I hope they make good friends and find love, so that they are taken care of when I am not around.

That I will do anything and everything possible to the best of my ability for fulfilling their wishes. Protect them from the ills of the world and nurture their childhood. Brace them for struggles of life and teach to never give up.I wish they will appreciate that while I cozy them up in a colourful blanket every night, there are children out there of the same age who are sleeping on a pavement under a street lamp tired collecting rags all day.Every child is born with a character and its own destiny. But there is a huge impact on the parenting the child received. This short journey of ours here will hold more meaning to us if we could raise and give a good human being to the world.

Bleh...

Hard working and diligent?
Good. Well so is the donkey who carries heavy load for his master everyday. Do you think the master is compassionate towards it? Nope. He needs money and when he gets it he will probably trade that same hard working donkey for a stallion to show off.
That's how life works my dear friends. So its your choice if you want to be the donkey or the wolf.
I hate the wolves but those rascals know how to survive. They thrive on their swiftness and agility. Have you ever seen a wolf getting tamed for domestic purpose; that's coz it knows to hunt and fetch for itself.

Sometimes I doubt my abilities and get struck by pangs of fear & guilt thinking do I even deserve this. Have I been faking it all along and no one has found out the truth yet.  What are the chances I will make it through. There are people who are both way more sincere and smarter than me. Am I worth to be here. And that is when the implosion occurs. Panic stricken and tense is all I do and stop trying. 

I lose my faith in talent when I witness undeserving people stepping over the good ones. But they don't seem to have an issue with it, so why am I bothered about it. I am in a dilemma actually which side to join. We tend to do what we naturally like to do-either work hard like the donkeys without thinking why or know when to pound on the right moment like the wolves.  

Anyhow, these worldly gibberish never did any good to mankind. Be what you want to be. The best donkey or the best wolf.

I always knew what I wanted to be. The Stallion!

Idler

I am the kind who can spend hours staring at the ceiling(and then later write a blog about it! ).
Window seats appeal to me because the sights change and I do not have to strike conversations just to break awkward silences.
When Katy Perry sings "Do you ever feel like a plastic bag drifting through the wind..", I can relate myself to it. Rainy days and cozy blankets are the best combinations after pedicures with manicures.

Pouting is way more easier than a french kiss.

Let your hair down coz everything else is an effort.

I'll any day prefer walking on the beach with my dog beside me coz he loves unconditionally without judging.

What I do best is being me. Unpolished but staggering to keep up

Twenty's

Remember the times when the biggest concern used to be if your bicycle tyre had air in it so that you can reach the playground in time next morning and don't miss a single moment at the game. Ruffled hair and rubbing a milk moustache coz mom won't let you leave the house till you finish that cup of hot bournvita. Afternoon lunch served with your favorite sabji just the way you like it while watching swat cats on TV and never even bothered to appreciate her efforts.
When we used to pack our bags from a time table written on a diary.Days when we packed monday instead of tuesday and were made to stand outside the class coz we forgot to bring science homework.Love meant L in FLAMES. White shoes could be cleaned using chalksticks.That my dear friends was the bliss in your life.

Then what hits you hard on the face are twenty's. That is when life starts fucking you for no reason and fault of yours. Where every thought and action of yours can impact your whole life. There can never be a biggest concern coz u gonna have them coming up one after another. So many of them that you would lose track often. We waste most part of it running after a good paying job,searching for life partners,talking to real estate agents and making choices between investment policies that by the time we finish doing all of the above, there is a 3 year old kid holding your pinky finger and boom.....there goes your twenty's :D

What my friends think I do...What I think I do..What I really do

Dedicated to all my friends who are eager to work and to the ones who are eager to leave work :P

It definitely isn't applicable to all.
Hmmm...interesting. I see you are well versed with so-and-so software and you have worked with these languages. Your projects will prove beneficial to this industry. It is very impressive. Congratulations, you are hired!

(Big smiley...mmuah mmuaah...XOXO...)

Day-1: Formals so well starched and ironed that you can hear them crack during movements.

Introduction.Ppt (we have revenues,shares,shareholders and commercial ads)
High tea - future bosses..."yes sir""exactly sir""I want to work on this and that sir"
policies.ppt (things we never mention in an offer letter)

Day-2 : Loosen the tie (plz!). Same trousers but a different shirt.
work.ppt - (ha ha ha...u morons do u think what it takes is a PPT)
.
.
Work - This is the workflow and this is how we work. Any questions?
(after a few weeks)
Goof up 1 - How on earth do you not know the entry code used for Brazil!
You : "Errrr....coz...(I bloody didn't study any of this in 4 years) " .

Goof up 2 - You said what!
You : "Errr...coz..(that's what happened)"

Goof up 3 - You : "Ok. I'll do it"

What is the status of work?
He :  Its 80% done.

Do we have a written proposal?
She :  Yes.

What are the contingencies and back up plans for it?
He :  X & Y

Did you schedule events on the calendar?
She: Yes.

Why can we not execute Z?
He : Because it involves high risk and we lack adequate resources.

I want a table with 3 columns X,Y,Z
She: Yes Sir.