What is wrong with you?

Sticking out his tongue with his head popped outside the window, he never seemed so detached from me. I rubbed his furry neck "You haven't been yourself lately and don't eat well either.Pugsy, what is wrong with you?"

He turned around and said "What is wrong with me??? You ignored the little child who came begging for money at the traffic signal but you never think twice spending an extra 1000 when buying yourself a dress. You gather around,meet a bunch of people over meals and drinks only to keep your head low and text that person who isn't present, you crave approval from people who don't even care about you.

What bothers you if your friend is doing better than you instead of achieving your own goals. You spend three quarters of your life working your ass off and earn only to spend all of it to regain a lost health in your last quarter of life.

You care more about the length of her skirt than her vagabond ideas. You have an excess of educated young people wagging their tails around for a good pay but none to lead the nation. You adorn a bamboo plant in your house because it brings you prosperity but will cut down forests. You kill harmless animals for their meat, tusks, skin and think posing nude for a PETA poster is a contribution. You will dump ice on your head to donate but not help a diseased man on the road.

You fear god and pray for only yourself while knowing that each day thousands of people are being killed,houses bombed,forced to flee from their homes and live in refugee camps. There are mothers cradling hungry babies near railway tracks and all that matters to you if I ate my pedigree. What is wrong with you?"

I hit the brakes hard. "Damn, my dog talks!"

Lilac

6 am already!
I could kill to get 5 more minutes. One big day lied ahead. Her first performance on stage. She loves her dress especially the lilac laces I stitched at the hem.

I stared myself for a while in the mirror. My eyes look dull. How time flies.  Years ago there used to be a sticky note every morning on this same mirror. I have each one of them stored safely in a box inside the storeroom. Though I don't look at them anymore now.

"Happy birthday Ma!"
I turned around to find my angel in her teddy bear pajamas. Rubbing her sleepy eyes she held a lily plucked from our backyard. It meant everything.

Her play was fabulous. Children grow so talented these days. All the parents were gifted with a bouquet by the kids at the closing event. I forgot mine and left them lying on the chair.

She won't eat tonight with all her excitement and endless talk. I could finally put her to sleep. The doorbell rang at 11:30.

There was no one outside. As I was about to close the door lied there  at the doorstep, the same bouquet of lilies. Tied to its end was a scrolled note.
"She's got your eyes, but they look at you just the way I did."

Rachel Green

The one who made it to Ralph Lauren all the way from a coffee house waitress by herself. She was the most inspiring of all. Sabotaging Ross's every relationship, Rachel did come across as a selfish  person.You end up loving her even though she started off as a vain rich girl but grows up to be a strong independent woman throughout the series. Chubby ankles couldn't keep her from running off in a bridal dress and take on a new life.
Finds a guy, falls in love, gets off a plane, has a wedding, gives birth to a beautiful baby girl with the guy she loves..but none in the right order coz it would have made her normal then.

Lightbulb

Treading towards a distant statue perched on top of a hill. A strange feeling of calm overcomes me. Seeing his peaceful composure it leaves you with thoughts. Amidst all that chaos is a being in peace that we forget.

We tend to make our inner conflicts the truth. Most of what could be the truth but exaggerated beyond their triviality. Why does it matter what others think of us when we know who we really are and that conscience is sufficient to attain not success but inner peace. Project what you may but people see what their minds seek to believe.

The only person who doesn't need an explanation is you. If you choose to be sincere when you can cheat defines you. We can bluff everyone but not the one who stares us in the mirror. Loving deeply and getting hurt in return is not regrettable but a chance of growth. It instills a faith on yourself that things might seem to be going wrong but not you.

Why bother?

You know what saddens me most that you and I are educated enough today to read this on internet and yet there are 200 kidnapped school girls out there who are living a hell. That a group of militants can openly declare to the world that these girls will be sold as sex slaves and all we can do is follow news. That their childhood has been scarred forever. That I failed my purpose of education and writing a blog to express my grief in no way solves the situation.

It has been nearly 40 days since the girls were kidnapped from their school and I dread to even imagine what horrendous episodes they are going through at this hour. Innocent children who have been exposed to the darkness for no fault of theirs. No...this goes beyond third world countries and  terrorist groups; it goes beyond feminist activists and child abuse. It is but a reflection of the value of human lives. How insensitive and selfish we have become. A nation which harbours natural resources has attracted oil giants to invest and mint money out of them. If half the amount of funds spent in developing an oil asset is used to operate a rescue team for these girls; they would have been released by now. These ideas are far-fetched and eccentric to a pragmatic profit venturing system.

What good have we done spending billions & billions developing arms, warfare and weapons of mass destruction when we are helpless in saving our own children. Oh! Sorry, I forgot. Men have been shot, women have been raped, cities have been bombed and nations have been attacked. As long as it doesn’t directly affect our lives..why bother?       

Still or Sparkling?

Took my headphones off and I craned my neck after watching a documentary on the screen. Couple,couple with baby,big family,grumpy businessman reading Forbes, saffron clad guruji, another couple with baby, young guy with cool t-shirt & goatee, intelligent bob cut aunty wearing half-moon glasses with lace. Fleeting impulse...if this flight has insufficient number of parachutes how will I defend my case in this group.Maybe I should just cling onto bob cut aunty...

"Do you need some water Ma'am?"
"Yes, please!"
"Still or Sparkling?"
(Are you freaking kidding me! I drank drawing water from a well in a bucket once)"..errrr Still will do"

Guruji and business guy laid across their seats like they do in sleeper coaches. I sat on the window seat with my next two seats empty.The last time I took this same flight from India to Germany, it was jam packed. Apparently, people fly out of India more and do not wish to return back home often. I am the only one in my family who hasn't traveled in business class yet and so lying straight on the seats felt like a luxury. Not the real deal but not bad for a bargained check on the list.Dozed off in no time only to be waken up by a flight steward who wanted to serve me more food after the big meal I had an hour ago! Why are we still flying??

4 out of 5 articles today on quora made me realise that only coding and knowing to program things are skills to become competent nowadays. The fifth post talked about developing the prefrontal cortex by doing hard things. Does that mean the 2 days I spent watching Jaws and shark attacks on people in Florida Keys has made me dimmer by 48 hours? Strategizing attacks on my enemies by hiding crossbow archers in upgraded watch towers with a simultaneous fleet attack of galleons & fire ships should be counted as brain exercises #AOE.

Bottom line : Your stillness today cannot restrict your sparkle tomorrow. Also, be it still or sparkling what quenches your thirst matters the most.

#Sharkattacks

When I become a mother

I have begun to cherish on the fact that someday I will be given the privilege too of becoming a mother. As a daughter I have learnt a lot from my mother about motherhood. The silent sacrifices, compromises, selfless love and concern make me proud to be her daughter. She is the prime reason for making me who I am today and I owe it all to her.

When I become a mother I hope I can do the same. Make my children feel that no matter whatever be the odds against them, they will always have me beside to support them. I want them to grow up respecting each individual for their thoughts and not judge people based on the colour of their skin, the god they pray, the place they belong, their gender, height , abilities or disabilities, the width of their eyes, brand of clothes, sexual orientations. I want my children to learn how to enjoy science, literature, music, sports and show them that there is so much more to life rather than chasing after good grades, money and facebook likes. Make them understand that abstinence does not mean purity of heart. I hope they make good friends and find love, so that they are taken care of when I am not around.

That I will do anything and everything possible to the best of my ability for fulfilling their wishes. Protect them from the ills of the world and nurture their childhood. Brace them for struggles of life and teach to never give up.I wish they will appreciate that while I cozy them up in a colourful blanket every night, there are children out there of the same age who are sleeping on a pavement under a street lamp tired collecting rags all day.Every child is born with a character and its own destiny. But there is a huge impact on the parenting the child received. This short journey of ours here will hold more meaning to us if we could raise and give a good human being to the world.